Story by Carlton Reese
Richard Dawkins, David Attenborough and Stephen Hawking all have at least two things in common: They are all either agnostic or atheist, and they were all married in protestant churches.
Carrie Underwood, Russell Wilson and Billy Graham’s grandson all have at least two things in common: They are all self-avowed Christians and were all married in places that weren’t churches.
The juxtaposition of these two notions presents quite the telling picture of a recent trend perhaps lost on the youngest generations, but certainly not on any person of the Cloth. The tradition of exchanging wedding vows, up until recently, was to do so in a church sanctuary or synagogue, even when those participating would likely never see the inside of a church again.
Not long ago, most wedding ceremonies took place in a church, and it mattered not whether the bride and groom were people of a religious faith – tradition held that such sacred vows ought to happen in a place of worship to mark the solemnity of the occasion. Today, most Christians who seem to adhere to their faith with white-knuckled fervor would rather their vows happen amid the sound of waves crashing on a beach or the lowing of farm animals – church organs and wedding bells seemingly tossed into the bin of cultural history.
A recent survey conducted by OnePoll revealed that only 13 percent of those classified as Generation Z (born between 1997 and 2012) would want their wedding to be in a church sanctuary. That compares to 39 percent of Baby Boomers (born between 1946 and 1964), 24 percent of Generation X (born 1965-1980) and 18 percent of Millenials (born 1981-1996).
In 2023, The Knot reported that only 16 percent of weddings in the United States took place in a house of worship, down from 22 percent in 2017 and 41 percent in 2009.
These numbers certainly reflect the reality that weddings are, for the most part, no longer the domain of the church sanctuary. The Survey Center of American Life of the American Enterprise Institute notes that only 30 percent of Americans married in the past decade reported their ceremonies having taken place in house of worship. This contrasts with the fact that number is 72 percent over the past 40 years.
The shift of ceremonies away from sanctuaries is part of a broader cultural and religious phenomenon and may deserve more than just curious scrutiny, especially according to priests, pastors and rabbis. Father Patrick Sheedy of Blessed Trinity Catholic Church has noticed the trend away from sanctuary weddings and even laments the current milieu.
“When you’re in church, the connection between you and the Lord is a lot stronger,” Sheedy said. “The commitment where you say, ‘I take you…,’ you do that in the presence of the Lord.”
Sheedy explains that in the Catholic Church (outside of a few dioceses experimental in the practice), a marriage is not officially accepted by the Church unless it takes place in the sanctuary. As such, Sheedy says he often officiates a small wedding in the church then a much a larger affair afterward. “I never do a non-sanctuary wedding unless I do it in the church first.”
For whatever reason, it’s just not that important for people to be married in a church. To attend a wedding in 2025 more than likely means a trip to the beach, a barn or backyard than it does a church. The reasons are not too surprising:
Society as a whole is less church-going than in years past. Across all denominations, the percent of adults who say they attend church regularly has been in steady decline for several decades. According to Gallup, a 2003 survey held that 42 percent of U.S. adults said they attended church regularly, but that number was down to less than 30 percent in 2023.
During the COVID-19 pandemic of the early 2020s, couples were forced in many instances to choose outdoor venues for their weddings and that trend has only expanded since.
Out of convenience or even financial considerations, couples are opting for venues that can service not just the ceremony, but also the celebration.
Social media platforms have placed a high value on visually distinctive moments for picturesque backdrops and guest experiences that create a louder buzz and thus helps to encourage venues at exotic destinations or non-traditional settings.
McKenzie Williams, an Ocalan who grew up in a church-going family, will be getting married in May, but not in a church – hers will be at Vintage Farms, a venue operated by the College of Central Florida. For her, Williams claims her budget had as much to do with the venue selection as anything else.
“One of the motivations really was just money,” said Williams, who currently attends the University of Florida. “I looked at a few churches and the one thing that I saw was that it was so expensive just to have it inside of a church and everything that includes.”
Williams says the difference in holding her wedding at one of the churches she looked at and Vintage Farms was around $6,000 in favor of the farm, which will also host the reception.
Although many churches do not have set prices for their weddings and only request donations, they present other issues that sometimes drive away potential weddings: Adherence to certain marriage protocols. Many churches require couples to go through particular pre-marital counseling (in the Catholic Church it is called “Pre-Cana”). In such counseling, couples are required to meet with ministers and other counselors to complete certain steps before going through with the ceremony.
Often, couples simply want to get married without going through what they see as a hassle and may opt for a non-church wedding that could even include a courthouse.
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Ocala’s Madison Allen was married several years ago and never dreamed of a big wedding – tying the knot at the courthouse was just fine with her.
“I never had that dream of a church wedding or anything like that,” Allen said. “I never really like attention on me, so the thought of everyone staring at me in a church or even at some destination wasn’t appealing. Quick and easy is good for me.”
By marrying at the courthouse, Allen and her husband avoided not just unwanted attention, but they also saved money and, perhaps most importantly, saved themselves the stress of a traditional wedding.
“The stress of all of it is a little overwhelming, and I saw that at my father’s wedding recently,” Allen said. “I’d rather just enjoy the time with my husband instead of planning all that and going through it.”
While money and picturesque backdrops may explain some of the reason couples are opting for non-church weddings, it does not necessarily figure that declining numbers in people of faith are a big reason, either. Just like the aforementioned Christians, Underwood and Wilson, even people of faith are turning away from the church when it comes to exchanging vows.
“I think there is a reason it is done in the church,” said Rev. Jeff Shanks of St. John
Lutheran Church. “When we look at it from that covenantal standpoint, sacrament in the broad sense, that it is a holy thing. I think there is something sacred about it and there is a part of me that says I think we give up something when we divorce it from the place where we worship together and the community in which we worship.”
Shanks says he doesn’t need to see the surveys or statistics to know the downward trend of church weddings – he has been living that trend for the past few decades. He says 20 years ago when he was in Omaha, Nebraska, he would conduct 25-30 wedding ceremonies a year in the sanctuary, but now in Ocala he performs only two or three a year, and none so far in 2025.
“My preference is that you ought to do it in a sanctuary,” Shanks said. “If this is your worshipping community, this should be where you are, and if you are serious about following Jesus, then find a sanctuary.”
Sheedy said part of the responsibility rests on clergy themselves.
“I’m always an optimist,” Sheedy says of the potential for church weddings to return to favor. “I do believe that it has something to do with the church – it’s the priest themselves that have to be open and not too ritualistic. I do meet people who say church regulations are so strict it doesn’t encourage people to marry in a church.”
If churches are no longer the top venues for exchanging vows, what are? According to The Knot, banquet halls are the most chosen venue for weddings, followed by farms/barns, then historic buildings or homes. For destination weddings, nearly half are conducted on beaches.
Although church weddings are no longer the number one place for weddings, they are still a widely-used option and one that could make a comeback soon according to Shanks.
“I believe everything’s in a pendulum to some degree,” Shanks said. “There is a lot of movement among the younger generation right now – God is moving. I see it in the Lutheran churches; I see it in the non-denominationals. I think it’s a beautiful thing (sanctuary weddings) and there’s that hope. We’re in a pattern now where what’s hot is those destination weddings, but I think you limit your community celebrating with you.”
In broader terms, the decline of the church wedding has coincided with the decline in the number of regular church-goers and even the number of people practicing a faith religion. Still, non-sanctuary weddings have become increasingly popular even among those people of faith who are choosing to exchange vows more often at a place that isn’t a house of worship. The tradition is slowly fading, but not dying.
According to Shanks, the venue is not the most important aspect involved, although he does believe conducting a wedding in a church could be a sign of stronger faith elements in the couple.
“If (a destination wedding) is your driving force, what is it you’re trying to say at your actual wedding ceremony? Not the party afterward or the wedding banquet.” Shanks wondered. “But, there’s a part of me that also looks back into the Old Testament where not every wedding was done in the temple. Even from my standpoint, and I have my preferences, when it’s all said and done what is your wedding saying? What are your vows saying? What are you even trying to give testimony to?
“No matter where you get married, there has to be a common commitment to Christ, which is going to be one of those glues that holds that marriage together when it gets tough.”